Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Who died my cat blue again?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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