we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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