Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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