Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
