If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
