So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
