No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How external is "for external use only"?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
