I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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