i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
