You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You are a genius and a whore.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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