some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
