I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
