You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize