Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize