oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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