i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
