Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
