So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
