So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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