...so i touched it.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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