do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
