Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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