I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
