Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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