Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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