I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
