Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
