I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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