There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
