She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
