Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
whose parrot is this?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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