we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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