This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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