he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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