i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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