My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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