Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
