he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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