just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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