i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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