M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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