Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.

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  (650): I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke. http://tfl.nu/5x23
  Replies (7) Good night (1029) Bad night (670)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.

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  (774): I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me. http://tfl.nu/t4sa
  Replies (9) Good night (754) Bad night (2875)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before

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  (404): i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before http://tfl.nu/o5nm
  Replies (29) Good night (4737) Bad night (1097)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?

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  (717): What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning? http://tfl.nu/h9gl
  Replies (35) Good night (806) Bad night (3315)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...

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  (904): I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem... http://tfl.nu/1w4y
  Replies (43) Good night (5653) Bad night (868)
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  (831): View more from California

  It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night

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  (831): It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night http://tfl.nu/8gcp
  Replies (13) Good night (6295) Bad night (1593)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..

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  (270): they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out.. http://tfl.nu/o5dk
  Replies (19) Good night (5693) Bad night (1308)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street

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  (724): the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street http://tfl.nu/sbee
  Replies (13) Good night (4609) Bad night (1561)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."

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  (781): She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared." http://tfl.nu/t3p1
  Replies (3) Good night (2027) Bad night (1170)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.

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  (907): My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic. http://tfl.nu/erca
  Replies (3) Good night (2181) Bad night (1303)
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  (845): View more from New York

  On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.

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  (845): On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though. http://tfl.nu/8a05
  Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (833)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  "YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.

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  (602): "YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics. http://tfl.nu/6e83
  Replies (0) Good night (274) Bad night (474)
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  (909): View more from California

  Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.

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  (909): Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work. http://tfl.nu/qyvz
  Replies (2) Good night (347) Bad night (620)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...

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  (306): so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night... http://tfl.nu/edce
  Replies (2) Good night (331) Bad night (559)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  You have the best birthdays

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  (810): Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo. (931): You have the best birthdays http://tfl.nu/wu72
  Replies (0) Good night (844) Bad night (242)

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