Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
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We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
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You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.