Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.

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  (757): he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark. http://tfl.nu/hjt5
  Replies (15) Good night (3296) Bad night (1468)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up

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  (312): Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up http://tfl.nu/cco3
  Replies (20) Good night (3112) Bad night (875)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation

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  (720): Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation http://tfl.nu/efec
  Replies (77) Good night (5234) Bad night (1356)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis

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  (734): turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis http://tfl.nu/zgff
  Replies (64) Good night (7942) Bad night (758)
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  (+06): View more from

  it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..

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  (+06): it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever.. http://tfl.nu/huu2
  Replies (36) Good night (1156) Bad night (7434)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?

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  (647): Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public? http://tfl.nu/9yr1
  Replies (33) Good night (1580) Bad night (4593)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...

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  (336): just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ... http://tfl.nu/0ptt
  Replies (18) Good night (951) Bad night (2653)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?

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  (918): Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right? http://tfl.nu/jzhy
  Replies (2) Good night (2010) Bad night (668)
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  (661): View more from California

  First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.

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  (661): First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl. http://tfl.nu/e3wo
  Replies (11) Good night (736) Bad night (1352)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.

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  (313): 420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store. http://tfl.nu/907d
  Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (593)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.

  (818): View more from California

  Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.

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  (818): Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history. (818): Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night. http://tfl.nu/hwf0
  Replies (6) Good night (276) Bad night (1114)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!

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  (403): Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes! http://tfl.nu/9ss2
  Replies (5) Good night (1033) Bad night (311)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?

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  (801): WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office? http://tfl.nu/kj4z
  Replies (5) Good night (417) Bad night (709)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?

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  (256): We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break? http://tfl.nu/kbd5
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (228)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?

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  (484): He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he? http://tfl.nu/wud6
  Replies (1) Good night (467) Bad night (234)

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