we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.