i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How's your threesome situation going?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober