Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable

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  (678): Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable http://tfl.nu/zwpt
  Replies (50) Good night (4917) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?

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  (508): He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig? http://tfl.nu/6st9
  Replies (2) Good night (1026) Bad night (2782)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.

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  (203): just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now. http://tfl.nu/42b8
  Replies (7) Good night (2682) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.

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  (760): I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned. http://tfl.nu/ynjo
  Replies (7) Good night (978) Bad night (3393)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?

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  (770): Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning? http://tfl.nu/sjpg
  Replies (5) Good night (2151) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.

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  (801): He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me. http://tfl.nu/9uhs
  Replies (33) Good night (6107) Bad night (1711)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.

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  (406): drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/nkni
  Replies (4) Good night (1536) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover

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  (530): I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover http://tfl.nu/xq4s
  Replies (7) Good night (2780) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.

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  (914): Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls. http://tfl.nu/u1ub
  Replies (5) Good night (3063) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.

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  (203): it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along. http://tfl.nu/rnt1
  Replies (3) Good night (2553) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.

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  (413): She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker. (1-413): That's effing brilliant. We should start a business. http://tfl.nu/l4ou
  Replies (7) Good night (1881) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.

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  (303): I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now. http://tfl.nu/8ew5
  Replies (7) Good night (419) Bad night (1709)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed

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  (530): My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed http://tfl.nu/lqy8
  Replies (5) Good night (902) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf

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  (253): Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf http://tfl.nu/ir0h
  Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.

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  (410): Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you. http://tfl.nu/34nw
  Replies (3) Good night (466) Bad night (326)

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