Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
