her vagine was all disorganized.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
