We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
