Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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