I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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