if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize