If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
