Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
