is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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