respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
