no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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