then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back