yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?