Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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