Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize