I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
