We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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